


Wrapped in the Memory

by StarkStarkStark



Series: Epitome of Love [1]
Category: Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-17 00:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2290838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarkStarkStark/pseuds/StarkStarkStark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Emily had fallen in love, gotten married and had begun their lives as a happy couple. Everything was perfect, and neither of them could have asked for anything more.</p><p>Then fate snatched away every shred of happiness they both had.</p><p> </p><p>Now, Emily Knight, a well known actress living in LA, has been asked to relive her past and tell her story.</p><p>But what had happened that caused the love of her life to be snatched from her arms?</p><p>********</p><p>I'm hoping to make this one a long one, it has to be it's my first fic!</p><p>Please comment..would love to get any opinions, suggestions etc.</p><p>Thanks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Opening

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go...:)

Today is...probably one of the strangest, weirdest and worst day of my life. 

I'm don't know how I was persuaded to visit a therapist...but I guess it's time. I know I'm not the same person I was a month ago...let alone a year ago. And I miss who I was. This, whatever it is, will help me get back to the way I was and the way I want to be. Like everyone else, I have regrets. A lot of them. All my decisions have gotten me to the point of making a decision to ask for help. I've been introduced to tons of new things because of him, including this. But I can't think of him. Not yet.

I'm in a waiting room. It's been decorated with a black and white theme in mind, clearly. A few pictures have been placed on the walls along with a few awards sitting in a cabinet. There's a few magazines laid out on the coffee table in front of me. With nobody except the receptionist at her desk to distract myself from the reality of my presence, I reach for one of the magazines and flick through it briefly...and then I see him.

Whatever I do, I can't turn away as I continue to look at him, us, together. I remember choosing that shirt for him. I continue to look at the two-page spread in more detail. We were in Paris, on beach? I remember how shortly after it started to rain and how we just stood there, wrapped in the moment. His hands in mine, as I was lost in his ocean blue eyes. Smiling widely as if we thought that the moment would last forever. At least that was what we promised each other.

Forever and Always.

 

My vision becomes blurry. My breathing becomes harder as the room begins to grow smaller and smaller. I close my eyes tightly as a tear escapes.

Not right now.

 

It's too late.

 

I can't stop him from flooding my mind.

 

The first memory I have of him.

 

The last memory I have of him.

 

And everything in between.

 

It all came back.

 

Just like that, it became hard to breathe.

 

"Mrs Evans? Are you alright?"

 

I look up to see the receptionist sitting beside me as I fall out of my personal abyss. I look towards her desk and back at her...still unsure whether or not she is actually there. It takes me a while to acknowledge where I am, but eventually I speak.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine, thank you." steadying my breathing. I look down rather than making eye contact, mainly because I'm embarrassed of my attack, but also because I'd prefer not to get caught up in any small talk. The last thing I need is for someone to recognise me. 

"Well I came by to tell you that Dr. Atwell is ready to see you, feel free to go in when you're ready." she places a hand on my shoulder, but I move away slightly. Like I said, recent events have made me a lot more paranoid.

"I will, thank you, again" I reply smiling slightly just in case I came off as rude to her. I need to be aware of everything I do, the slightest offence may result in tabloids bitching about me for the millionth time.

The lady returned the smile and strutted her way back to her neat and organised desk. She clearly had enough time to keep it that way.

After what felt like a decade, I took a deep breath and collected myself. With all the energy I had, I forced myself out of what was now my comfy cocoon and walked up to the door with Dr. Atwell written across the name plaque. It was clearly placed in there hurriedly, unlike the neatness and order on the rest of the floor. There was no going back now, I need this. How else can I expect to get better? But then again, do I need to? Yes, of course you do. You need to learn to move on. Slowly, I turn the handle of the door as I walk in cautiously. I look around the room. There are stacks of papers sitting on the desk, and just in the centre of the room is a couch and a lounge chair. In between the two is a coffee table, exactly the same as the one in the waiting area. As I turn to look at the rest of the room I notice a wall completely covered with diplomas. The shrink was definitely qualified to fix me.

"Hello Emily!" I turn to see my new therapist smiling at me as she walks towards her desk, turning her phone off and looking through some binders briefly. I'm guessing they're her notes..but hey, I'm not an expert on therapists. I played one once, well technically, I did. I'll get to that later.

"Hi." I successfully managed to plaster a smile on my face, for an Oscar winning actress it should be pretty easy..but it's difficult to hide your pain when you've let it overtake your whole being. Yet, I think I managed to pull it off.

"I'm Hayley, if you didn't know. Just give me a second to set everything up. Feel free to take a seat though, I suggest the couch. It's a whole lot comfier than that blasted armchair." She said calmly, gesturing towards the couch. British accent. Oxford graduate. And around the same age as me..give or take one or two years. This woman should be intimidating, but honestly, I can't help but feel sort of calm and at ease with her. Huh, maybe this whole thing wouldn't be difficult after all.

I walked towards the seat she suggested and take a seat, "You should see the one I have in my apartment. It's like you're being poked by a million nails in the ass"

"Ha! Well I guess we should trade. Nothing can beat this old thing right here" she sat down in the armchair and made a painful expression. I giggle as she tries to get comfortable. "Seriously, any position I try to sit in, it just doesn't seem to be happening"

"Well," I look down towards the corner of my dress as I begin to fiddle slightly "No matter how painful anything is it's hard to get rid of it..whether it's a thing, a person, or just a part of the past" I smile weakly, kind of regretting causing the silence filling the room.

"Hmm, that is true." I can feel her eyes looking towards me, but I just can't look up. "What made you come here today?"

I take a moment to answer. "Well your receptionist said this was the only time slot you had this week, and I didn't really have anything to do so.." I smile slightly, trying to make the atmosphere a little lighter. Hayley laughs a little but doesn't say anything in return...and taking the silence as a gesture to continue, I speak again "and mainly because I needed it. What happened, I just, whatever I do I can't, I just can't get over it. I can't move on." I can feel my walls slowly breaking down. I'm about to reveal my whole life to a stranger, and I feel okay doing so. I trust her for some reason. That's something that I haven't been able to do in a long time. In this business, it takes time for one to be able to trust someone enough to not tell another soul. I feel ready now. I've already lost a part of me, what more is there left to lose? I look up to see her. No judging. No pity. Just a person willing to listen. Maybe because I know she understands. 

"I understand, Emily. You know, not long ago, I went through the same thing as you. As you may already know. I was sick of hearing all the 'I'm sorry to hear thats' and 'I'm sure everything will be okays' from people who didn't get it. With the help of support groups and people who understood, I realised that it was the only way, for me to overcome my pain. It's why I'm sitting here in front of you today. I don't know whether it'll help you the way it helped me, but I'm willing to help you if you want it. And I know you do. So," she sits a little forward as if she was extending her arm out towards me, to help me out of this ocean of grief I've been drowning in "How about we work through this together. How was life before Chris?"

 

Wow, that felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then. It all feels like a blur. "Before Chris, I was in a relationship with another man. Colin. He was so sweet, and I remember...feeling so..." I struggle to search for that one word to define our relationship, and then it comes to me. "Safe. I knew he would never hurt me, and I took that as being in love. He's the kind of guy you're supposed to get with in the end. You know, the guy you've been dating since college, the ultimate guy next door."

"Oh I know the kind, I married my guy next door!" Hayley blushes flashing her emerald ring.

"That. Is. Beautiful!" I smile as she places her hand back in her lap and lifts her feet up to place on the armchair. The whole atmosphere is now really casual...which is probably Psychology 101. Make the client feel at ease. Good move, because for some reason I feel more relaxed. "It didn't turn out that way for me." I shake my head as I remember the way we used to be. "I remember one night we were going to a fundraising event...doing normal couple stuff."

 

*****

 

"Okay which one, red or blue?" I held up two dresses whilst making eccentric poses.

"Uhh red" replied Colin walking in to the bedroom already dressed in a tuxedo I bought him from my trip to New York. Visiting my parents always keeps me grounded. I moved to LA with my twin, Ian after we decided to pursue our acting careers. I got a gig on a TV show called Chuck and then, after an excruciatingly long audition process, got the lead role in the now hugely, unexpectedly popular movie franchise 'Bad Blood'. I met Colin shortly after, and my good luck has continued since then. I have a younger brother too, Noah, who is more into music than acting...although I'm pretty sure he'll be making the switch pretty soon. 6 years since we moved, Ian is still on his own TV show, but does a lot of personal projects on the side. Colin loves directing...and at the time he was begging me to do his movie...I don't usually mix personal and business...but there's a first time for everything I guess.

"Really? You sure?" I turned as I compared the two choices in the mirror.

"Yes! I am! How long does it take for you to get ready?!" He lied down on the bed as he watched me put the dresses down and walk towards him.

"If you didn't look so damn hot it wouldn't take so long you know." I slid my hands up and down his chest as I whispered into his ear huskily.

"No! Don't do that. I know what you're doing. Now go and get ready." he stood up and went towards the kitchen as I verbally sighed to emphasise my frustration and got up to go get changed.

A few minutes later I walked in to the main room and placed my hands on my hips.

"Well? How am I looking?" I twirled around and went back to my original stand. My blonde curls fell just below my shoulders...I was undecided on getting it cut shorter or not. Colin constantly nagged me to get a pixie cut, but I never really thought it was my style.

"Beautiful. Stunning. Sexy. Can we go now?" He asked as he put his arms around me.

"Yes, we can." I quickly kissed his lips as I wrapped my arm around his and walked out of his apartment, together.

 

*****

 

"I was happy, but then again, looking back, I don't think I actually knew what happiness was. Just security"


	2. Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2!  
> Updates won't be regular for a while..with exams and work..sorry!!  
> Hope you like it :D

Chapter 2  
I look up at Hayley as I pull on a pitch black thread from my dress. Her facial expression is neutral, and I can see that she wants me to carry on, so I do, but not until I make a point “I didn’t want to hurt anyone with our relationship, but in the end, I think it destroyed everything else we had in a way. Some things were left damaged beyond repair, and because of all that…pain, there were times when we thought we broke each other. That’s what love is though isn’t it? Whatever happens, you deal with it. It isn’t easy. It comes with pain, hurt, sacrifices…but also with an understanding, an indescribable connection with that one being in the entire universe.” I let out a sigh “Does this even make any sense?” I feel the need to ask having lost the point I was trying to make. Lately, my mind has been filled with cheesy lines like that, I guess that’s what alienation will do to you.  
She takes a while to answer, and I look down, being unable to make eye-contact for long nowadays. My heart starts to beat faster as I take deeper breaths. This may be the moment I realise I should be in rehab- disconnected from the rest of the world. Actually, it doesn’t sound that awful.

“I think it does.” That’s all she says and I let out a deep breath I didn’t realise I was holding. I look up slightly and give her a smile, appreciating the little she does say- because that’s enough. “When did you meet Chris?” I hear the curiosity in her voice as I adjust my position on the couch.

Normally, if someone were to ask me that question, I would smile at the memory as I am now. Then the incident took place, and whenever I was asked, I would experience an anxiety attack as I was reminded of recent events. But now, I feel okay. Okay. That’s a feeling right? The attacks aren’t as frequent as they used to be…but they sneak up on me every now and then.

“Well meeting Chris- it wasn’t love at first sight.”

*****

My agent, April, practically forced me to sign on to a new movie immediately after my last one. I would have preferred a break, since I've been working non-stop since Bad Blood and I’m pretty exhausted. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t just book a ticket to Bali and take some time off, but then I go on Twitter and other social networking sites and I’m reminded of the masses of support I have behind me and how excited they get as I announce a new project I'm signed on to do- and it’s exhilarating.

The next project would be more relaxed. Mainly because the movie was a rom-com so it didn't demand as much physical acting or hours of work-outs that my big franchise did, and also because the director was Colin. I’ve seen him on set before, and believe me, I can see the stress get to him as the journey from the beginning to the release of the movie progresses, until finally, he can let out a sigh of relief. I worry for him sometimes, specifically when he distances himself from me- solely focused on nothing but the movie. He’s addicted to work, and I guess I am too in a way.

“Em? You still with me?” I snap out of my thoughts to look up at my brother, Ian looking over at me with concern. He was on his way to shooting, and I asked him to drop me off since the studio that the cast will be meeting is on the way. I knew nothing else about the movie- not even about the cast. Huge studios can be weird that way. They keep everything pretty much top secret until they’re prepared to release even the tiniest bit of information as if they’re governmental secrets. I haven’t told anyone yet either- except Colin of course. He was very stubborn when it came to working with me. In the year and a half we’ve been together, this would be the first time, and wow was he excited.  
“Yeah, I’m just so done with AM hours.” I yawn as I rest my head against my handbag. I don’t think I’ve had a good night’s sleep this entire year and it’s getting to me.

“That’s exactly why I told you to take a break. Go to New York, see the fam and come back completely relaxed.” He replies as he turns his eyes back at the road. I guess we have a telepathic twin connection, because I agree with him, but naturally I’m not going to let him know that. 

“Well a girl’s gotta work for a living.” I reply smiling over at him as he rolls his eyes.

“Oh please, couple of a millions is enough. Colin is probably pushing you to do this with him.” He says without even attempting to show his dismay. Ian has disliked Colin from the day I met him. I have no idea why- he just doesn’t. But then again, he probably feels like the almighty protector who is obligated to protect me from all the re-incarcerated devils that are men…but he’s only like two minutes older than me.

“You know, you should spend some time with him. Who knows, you could be BFFs!” I say sarcastically as I punch him lightly.

“You’re lying to yourself if you believe that even for a second dude. Now get out” He replies as I reach out for a hug and jump out of the car.

\--  
“Em, you’re late.” I am looking for my water in my bag as I walk into the meeting room when I hear Colin’s voice. I’m usually punctual, believe me I am, but sometimes even I can’t help it. We promised to be as professional as we could whilst at work, so instead of reaching out to him for a hug I decide to take a seat next to his where my nametag is. The room is large with glass walls. The rest of the office is staring in, some fangirling/fanboying, some taking pictures and some continue to stare at their computer screens as they continue to work.

“Sorry, traffic.” I simply reply back. I’m already late, the last thing I need is to annoy everyone who actually showed up on time with the story of how I begged Ian to stop at a cute little cupcake shop earlier.

“It’s fine swe-, uh Emily. Chris hasn’t arrived anyways. The guy has been showing up late to almost everything since college.” My head shoots up to where Colin is standing, clearly frustrated, the moment I hear the name. Chris? That Chris? Or some other Chris? Please be another Chris. “Is Chris Ev-” I’m about to ask when I’m interrupted by someone. I turn to look at the door and it’s confirmed.

“I know you’re big on timing, but there was a crazy amount of tra-” He realises I’m in the room. I shift slightly in my seat, nervously, as I adjust my white sundress slightly. He’s wearing a white V-neck t-shirt with the usual jeans and a black pair of Converse. I’m reminded of that summer.

“Traffic. Yeah, I’m aware that it’s a bitch today.” Colin replies and for a moment I forgot about everyone else in the room. “How about we take five minutes and meet back here.” Everyone gets up to leave as I stand up slowly, looking at Chris again.” My heart begins to beat faster as the nervousness increases. God, I need a drink. Or two. Or ten. “Honey, I got to take a call, these produces basically own me. Chris is playing your love interest in the movie, Matt. And Chris, this is Emily. She’s playing Rosie. And she’s also the girl I told you about.” He smiles slightly at me but I continue to stare in shock. “I’ll be back in a second, you two get to know each other.” He points at the two of us as he walks out of the room and we stand there staring at each other.

We already do.

“So you and Colin?” he asks a little confused. What is there to be confused about? He said it all before walking out.

“Yeah.” My fists tighten until they’re white as I continue to stare into those deep blue eyes. I can do this, and if I can’t, I can at least try and act like he isn’t making me even a little nervous. “Me and Colin” I reply confidently.

“Emily, sweetie, you don’t have to build up those walls of yours around me.” He steps closer as the distance between us closes. “I’ve seen you naked, remember?”

Of course I do. What we had, was passionate, fun and full of lust. But, it was just a fling. We hooked up from time to time and it was amazing- but it was nothing more. I panic when I realise what he said and where we are, I turn to see if anyone may have heard. “Would you shut up? Not here!”

“There she is.” He smirks as I realise that the temporary wall I had built had already been broken down. “I guess you haven’t told Colin.”

That I cheated on him? With his supposed best friend? Technically, I didn’t know it was his best friend, in my defence. Would that make me feel less guilty? “No, and he can’t know.” I threaten as I walk towards him. I can’t hurt Colin, he’s a good guy. He deserves more than me, but what I did, made me realise that what I have with him is pure. He makes me better.

“Oh, I can’t do that. I can’t destroy that good girl image you have going on.” He lets out a mock gasp “America would lose their little sweetheart!”

I slept with this guy? Over an entire summer? I know, a big mistake.

He’s a dick.

He speaks again, and I cross my arms, already wishing whatever this thing is was over, he leans closer to me and my breathing deepens. “It’s a shame, really. The bad girl in you kinda turns me on.” I feel his breath on mine as he whispers into my ear, I close my eyes as I wish he takes me on this desk, right here, right now.

Wait, what?

I push him away as I straighten my demeanour. “Stay away from me.” I demand as he continues to grin. I turn to walk away from the room letting out a deep breath.

What a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt unsure about this chapter...comments? :)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! First chapter done! What did you guys think? Please leave comments this is my first fiction and it would really help thanks guys!


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